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The Great 'Splainin' Cometh
2 hours ago
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Disneyland-Style Theme Park Set for Baghdad. Honest to God - MotherJones
But the following snippet from the satirical portion of this presentation about sums it up:
The construction began in November 2003 on a site that had once contained a set of apartment blocks, a school and a public library, but had been conveniently levelled by US bombs.
Thousands of Iraqis showed their support for the project by lining up for jobs. "I need this for my starving wife and children," one man happily told a Fox News crew."I have a doctorate in applied mathematics and was affluent before the war, but now the only chance we have for survival is for Disney to hire me to shovel asphalt."Sadly, this man and twenty-four others were killed by a suicide bomber a few minutes after giving this interview.
[In full @ the bottom of this post]
Disneyland-Style Theme Park Set for Baghdad. Honest to God
MotherJones
Satire becomes reality. In the preview for "War, Inc." that Bruce posted below, private contractor John Cusack executes a war for the American government and then watches bewilderedly as a hip-hop star and her entourage invade the country right behind him.Soon English-language billboards and bumper stickers are everywhere.
That's ridiculous, right? An over-the-top display of how the encroachment of American culture and capitalism works. Leftist Hollywood hysteria.
Guess again, sucker: "[Llewellyn] Werner, chairman of C3, a Los Angeles-based holding company for private equity firms, is pouring millions of dollars into developing the Baghdad Zoo and Entertainment Experience, a massive American-style amusement park that will feature a skateboard park, rides, a concert theatre and a museum.
It is being designed by the firm that developed Disneyland. "The people need this kind of positive influence. It’s going to have a huge psychological impact," Mr Werner said.
The 50-acre (20 hectare) swath of land sits adjacent to the Green Zone and encompasses Baghdad's existing zoo, which was looted, left without power and abandoned after the American-led invasion in 2003...
More @ MoJo
Also, this from September 2005... A Send-Up... I think...
But after reading the MoJo piece one HAS to wonder:
Disney Delays Opening of Baghdad Theme Park
by Nikolai Stephens, Thu. 8 Sep 2005
In a shock move, the Disney Corporation have decided to delay the opening date of their new theme park in Baghdad, Iraq. The opening date, previously set for September 12th, will be postponed indefinitely according to Disney CEO Michael Eisner.
"We regret that many will be inconvenienced by this decision. I know the Iraqi people's deepest wish has been to have an opportunity to partake in the Disney dream, but economic and social practicalities unfortunately mean that it will be some time yet before Baghdad Disney is a reality."
The theme park was set to be the shining light of Iraq's reconstruction and had been one of President George Bush's favourite projects since the American invasion. In May, 2003, immediately after he announced "Mission Accomplished', he outlined his dream of a Baghdad Disney that would be a beacon of American values and ideas throughout the Middle East.
"Baghdad Disney will attract all of the Arab world population to marvel at its glories. It'll be almost like being in Florida, with lots of sand and old people and an enormous theme park with rides and talking, walking animals," he told sailors on the aircraft carrier Missouri.
The construction began in November 2003 on a site that had once contained a set of apartment blocks, a school and a public library, but had been conveniently levelled by US bombs. Thousands of Iraqis showed their support for the project by lining up for jobs. "I need this for my starving wife and children," one man happily told a Fox News crew. "I have a doctorate in applied mathematics and was affluent before the war, but now the only chance we have for survival is for Disney to hire me to shovel asphalt."
Sadly, this man and twenty-four others were killed by a suicide bomber a few minutes after giving this interview. "So many good people have died for this noble cause," George Bush announced in January this year at a New York promotional banquet organised and funded by Disney. "That's why we have to keep with this thing until the end - we owe it to all those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in pursuit of true freedom and the ability to ride the dodge'm cars."
However, in recent months the project has been plagued with problems. Persistent attacks from insurgents, equipment failure and cultural misunderstandings have all hampered the process. Last month Disney, as part of a promotional campaign, hired and trained locals to dress up as Donald Duck, Goofy and Mickey Mouse. They paraded through the streets of Baghdad dancing to a brass band.
Unfortunately, certain fundamentalist Shiite groups consider a dog wearing a hat to be sacrilegious. A riot occurred as the parade passed through the Shiite slum, Sadr City. Thousands of angry men attacked the parade and the participants fled, the band leaving their instruments in the street in their haste. Unfortunately, Goofy and Donald, slowed by their novelty costumes, were caught by the irate mob and beaten to death with brass wind instruments. Mickey has not been seen since and is believed to have fled the country.
However, despite these setbacks and the delay, Michael Eisner is adamant that Baghdad Disney will one day be a reality. "It has to be finished. The White House and the Pentagon will not rest until it is completed and open to the public, and that's not just because Dick Cheney has bought stock in Disney recently. Our government realises the importance of Bagdad Disney for the future economic well being of Iraq. George Bush was saying to me just the other day that, without a Disneyland, what possible reason would there be for anyone to go to a God-forsaken heap of sand and rubble once all the oil has been siphoned off..."
At this moment Eisner's press conference was interrupted by Secret Service agents and he was escorted off the premises. The Pentagon later stated that they believed Islamic extremists were planning to launch a terrorist attack on the building, and it was for this reason that the press conference was ended. Eisner later released a statement declaring that the stress of the possible attack had scrambled his brain and his comments regarding Bush and Cheney were totally inaccurate.
Tags:
C3,
Disney,
Green Zone,
Iraq,
Iraq Reconstruction,
Iraq War,
Iraqi Society,
Llewellyn Werner,
Sarcasm,
Satire
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