Unpardonable
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"All The News You Never Knew You Needed To Know ...Until Now." April 02 2010 Travus T. Hipp Morning News & Commentary: It's "Good Friday" And Christianity Is In Crisis - From The Crusades To Pedophilia To Peddling Opium And Millenial Gun Cults [Pop Out Player? Click Here] Prefer An MP3 Playlist? It's Here: [192kbps CBR 9:36 Minutes] Other Audio Formats Available [ Here ] Twitter This Commentary |
15-Minutes Are Up: National Minuteman Border Group Disbands
After a five-year run, the Minutemen Civil Defense Corps is calling it quits, their president announced this week.
March 28, 2010
The Minutemen Civil Defense Corps announced Thursday that it will disband after a five-year run. Carmen Mercer, the group's president, made the announcement only days after circulating a new call to action to its members to come to the border "locked, loaded and ready."
In Full @ Alternet
Captain Bethune Now Declared a Political Prisoner
[Backgrounder on Captain Bethune's illegal arrest here and here// Razer]
News reaches us today from Japan that Captain Pete Bethune of New Zealand will face no less than five separate charges related to his boarding of the illegal whaling vessel Shonan Maru No. 2, which occurred in the Southern Ocean on February 15, 2010 during Sea Shepherd’s sixth campaign to stop this barbaric poaching operation.
These charges are bogus, and Sea Shepherd Conservation Society questions the credibility of the entire Japanese judicial system for entertaining such absurdities.
On January 6, 2010, Captain Bethune’s ship, the Ady Gil, was intentionally run over and literally cut in two by the much larger Shonan Maru No. 2, endangering the lives of her six international volunteer crew. Captain Bethune’s response was to board that vessel at the next opportunity so he could confront face-to-face the captain responsible for this horrendous act.
Sea Shepherd expected Captain Bethune to face a trespassing charge; this does not come as a surprise. But all additional charges are being made for purely political reasons, to set an example of Captain Bethune for alleged actions that are absolutely trivial in comparison to those of the Shonan Maru No. 2—whose captain is not even being investigated by Japanese authorities after ramming and sinking another vessel at sea.
In Full @ Sea Shepherd Conservation Society
Just days after the Pennsylvania AFL-CIO endorsed his candidacy, Arlen Specter tried to make good by rolling out something he called the “Workers’ Bill of Rights.” Sounds cool, right?Specter’s bill of rights is a five-point platform: Forcing China to end its practice of pegging its currency to the U.S. dollar, more aggressive U.S. enforcement of trade laws, rescinding the president’s authority to overrule the International Trade Commission’s recommendations, speedier remedies for illegal trade claims, and stronger “Buy American” requirements under the stimulus.I’m not sure how that amounts of a “Bill of Rights” – it’s more vague slate of labor-related policy ideas than anything else – but on the surface it’s not a bad collection of policy ideas for Specter to work on in the Senate.
The only problem is his spokeswoman shut that door real quick, saying it’s more “campaign rhetoric” than anything that will be “actual law.”
In Full @ Firedoglake
Rep. Colin M. Simpson
Speaker of the House
Wyoming House of Representatives
Dear Speaker Simpson,
According to the contraceptive store chain, Condomania, Wyoming owns the dubious distinction of having the tiniest penises in America. They sell a higher percentage of their smallest "TheyFit" condoms in the Cowboy State than anywhere else. The smallest size, by the way, is three inches long.
That can't be good for tourism.
Thankfully, you also rank at the top of another, more important, category: gun ownership.
According to the Center For Disease Control's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 59.7% of Wyomingites own at least one firearm. So while your penises may be ultra-mini, you're guns are big and plentiful.
There has to be a way to market your gun ownership in a way that offsets your penis shame. Perhaps you could come up with a slogan for a bumper sticker or tee shirt--maybe something like "Wyoming: Big Guns, Small Penises," "At Least our Guns are Big Enough for Jackson Hole," or better yet, a picture of a gun overlaid on a map of the state with the words, "I dare you to say I have a small cock?"
Or maybe you could just change your state nickname to "The Compensation State."
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
A helmet tip to IanDavidB. source
Christ Getting In Shape For Second Coming
April 4, 2007
HEAVEN—Emerging from a grueling 90 minutes of cardiovascular exercise and light lifting for tone, Son of God Jesus Christ said Monday that He is "definitely on track" to achieve peak fitness condition for the Second Coming. The Son of God spends each morning trying to attain perfect abdominal definition.
"If every eye is going to see Me, and all the tribes of earth are going to wail on account of Me, I think I owe it to them and to Myself to be in the best shape of My life," Christ said. "Right now I'm up to 35 minutes at seven [miles per hour] on the treadmill and benching about 165 [pounds]."
"I'm really starting to feel like I'll have the strength and endurance to move every mountain and island from its place," Christ added.
Since His birthday last Dec. 25, Christ has committed Himself to a demanding daily regimen of exercise and prophecy fulfillment. Each of His workouts, Christ said, starts with an hour of cardio, after which He focuses on two muscle groups, replacing conventional free weights with the Rod of Iron with which He intends to rule all nations.
On Mondays, Christ works His chest and biceps and completes three sets of 10 transfigurations. On Tuesdays, He switches to triceps and abdominals, and passes as many sets of Last Judgments as He can in a minute. Wednesdays are devoted to the back and legs, and Thursdays and Fridays are for core and flexibility.
Even Sabbaths are spent doing...
In Full
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